Movie Reviews - new films reviewed

It’s business as usual for vampire-hunter Blade (Wesley Snipes), hacking and slashing through hordes of vampires – until he gets tricked into killing a human in public and getting videotaped in the act. Now the police is on his trails and he is wanted for multiple murder, speeding and reckless driving (well, maybe not the latter, but hey – they got Al Capone for tax evasion!). Which does not stop him from prowling around the city fully armed and in his not-so-low-key outfit. Thankfully, the police is only after him when the script calls for an Wesley-vs.-The Cops action scene, so no need to be less cool than Mr. Freeze himself ever and try to avoid police attraction.

Also as usual Whistler (Kris Kristofferson) dies in this movie (this time for good?), and Blade gets some fresh accomplices – the “Nightstalkers”. Top Nightstalkers are Whistler’s Mother … oh well, not really – it’s Whistler’s daughter (Jessica Biel – eye-candy for the boyz) and Hannibal King (Ryan Reynolds – eye-candy for the girlz, trying to be funny). The Nightstalkers are developing a virus gengineered to kill vampires – all that’s missing is a sample of the übervater of the vampires – Count Dracula himself.

That’s why it comes in handy that the vampires have unearthed the first-ever-and-therefore-bestest-of-all vampire somewhere in a tomb in Syria (or maybe Iraq – either the correct place got lost in translation or the script-doctors forgot the exact place in the struggle to finish the script) as a weapon against the Daywalker Blade. Dracula (Dominic Purcell) can walk in the daylight, is a shapeshifter (his fighting-gestalt looking like a mix of Alien and Predator), updates his name to Drake and generally is a grumpy old man somewhat annoyed his centennial nap has been disturbed by his inferior descendants.

The rest is no-tension action-sequences, ridiculously stupid and weak vampires (they allow a mere mortal girl to kick their sorry a**es by the dozen) and pointless slo-mo sequences of Blade doing cool stuff like walking around, standing around, or putting on sunglasses to some hip Hiphop and Techno-Music.
A video-clip gone awry.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 25th, 2005 at 11:53 pm and is filed under 1-star-movies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.