xXx: STATE OF THE UNION by Lee Tamahori
General Deckert (Willem Dafoe – surprisingly not over-acting) plans a coup d’état because the president (Peter Strauss) is too liberal for his taste. NSA Agent Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson) recruits a new XXX-agent (Ice Cube – trying to be cool; Vin Diesel’s Xander Cage was killed between xXx and xXx2) and thwarts the evil plan.
So much for the plot – no need to worry about spoiling anything, because after 5 minutes into the movie, you will know everything already. The only surprising thing is our ‘heros’ act as if they knew it, too!
Imagine you are NSA-Agent and running some special unit (the xXx unit). Your secret base is being attacked and all your staff is killed. You escape. What do you do? Call the NSA, CIA, FBI, State Police, Army, Marines? Naaaaaaaah – you go undercover (sort of) in the ghetto! That’s probably because you know this sort of movies so you realize you fight against the enemy from within. There’s absolutely nobody in the world whom you can trust – except a gang of car thiefs. Right.
It’s really a movie of superlatives: nominated for MOST STUPID MOVIE, MOST PREDICTABLE MOVIE, WORST MOVIE, WORST ACTION SEQUENCES, WORST CGI, MOST BORING MOVIE
Some more examples of stupidity?
When the Capitol is under control of armed enemy forces and all the government guys including the president are in there – what do you do? Well, probably blast a hole in the walls with a shell from a tank – or not? Just trust your luck you don’t hit the president or any of the other 3000 officials in the building …
When you are with the NSA and get credible evidence of a conspiracy of high military ranks with the goal to kill the president, vice president etc. and lead the USA into the next war, what do you do? Inform the president? The Secret Service? National Guard? Nooooooo – ya can’t trust nabadyy, right? So ya better go to some bunch o’ thieves and organize a march of da brother’s to defend da president and da country and da freedom to steal cars in da streets!
When you want to save the president from a high-speed train that travels at 240 miles per hour, do you ask him to ‘jump’ into the arms of a guy dangling on a rope from a helicopter in like 3 meters distance? Sure, like ‘trust me, i will catch you, hehehe’!
When the bad guy is all alone in mentioned train, the president is out of danger etc. – what do you do? Well, just blow up the train with a couple missiles, why not!
The other stuff is already forgotten …
There is absolutely no reason i know of to watch this sorry excuse for a film in the theatre. Also none to buy the DVD. Just wait until it’s played on free TV and you don’t have anything better to do …
